Many of my desires to change have a dual nature to them. On the one hand, I want to change because I know I should (rational). On the other hand, I don't want to change because I am emotionally tied to the course of action that needs to be changed. Here in lies the conflict of why I have a hard time starting new good habits and why I have an equally difficult time stopping menacing bad habits. I have begun to see that the two distinct facets of changing anything are rooted in both rational thought and emotional thought. Really sustaining significant life change happens when both the rational part of me and the emotional part of me agree. The emotional part of any change is the elephant. The rational part is the rider.
1.If an elephant (emotion) does want to move, but the rider thinks they should move....nothing is going to happen. Translated: My good habit or resolution loses power even though it makes sense.
2. If the elephant wants to move, but the rider doesn't want to...they are moving anyway. Translated: Bad habits are sticking around, regardless of the how much I know I should change.
3. The elephant and the rider want to move- Somehow both the desire of the rider and the strength of the elephant have meshed into a single powerful unit, and they begin to make progress.
The key to change then is to find a way to examine the emotional moorings that keep me tied to my habits. It also explains why people who are not very emotional (or have spent their lives burying their emotions as irrelevant) can make hard and fast changes very quickly.
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Its almost time for the three week update brother
ReplyDeleteI will post a response by Wed AM
ReplyDeleteChange?. You have changed a lot since I first met you years ago at church. I have seen you out with your girlfriend and know you have changed. I see your car parked behind her business everyday. Seen you with her inside and out at movies. Yes, John you have changed but I think you should let your wife know. You're preaching and inspiring is a front to all of us you have helped. I struggle with telling her about your change. You need to move like the elephant in the right direction. Your affair has been going on over a year and I've seen the kisses and the hand holding. Have you no shame? Let Wendi go and pursue your happiness but not at her expense. Tell her or I may be forced to.
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